Chapter 45.2
Returning to the Shen familys house, it was the first time that Jian Xingsui came back again after a month.
Different from the previous temporary stay, this time he came back as a part of the family. Jian Xingsui stepped on the garden path and walked into the gate, his hand was held by Xu Enzhen all the time.
Shen Xingchen cheerfully said, Well have dinner later!
Xu Enzhen took Jian Xingsuis hand and said, My son, lets go, Ill take you to see your room.
Jian Xingsui hesitated, My own room?
Xu Enzhen nodded, and replied: Of course!
Shen Yong handed his suit jacket to Auntie Wu, and told Jian Xingsui while changing his shoes: It was prepared for you when you were born, and it has been kept all these years.
Jian Xingsuis eyes widened in surprise.
He was dragged up to the second floor by Xu Enzhen, and the moment the door of the room was opened, he froze in place, mouth open without a sound.
The room was spacious and bright, with big floor-to-ceiling windows, and small blue curtains hanging covering the windows. The beds were neatly made with fresh sheets. Beside that, there was a small desk, small wardrobe, and through the wardrobes transparent door, he could see many stacks of small, baby clothes.
But those werent the things that shocked him the most.
On the carpeted floor, on the cabinets, stacked on the desk were all unopened gift boxes, all still wrapped neatly with festive papers.
Xu Enzhen whispered, Every year, Mom prepared a gift for you. And its been quite long, isnt it? Its becoming quite a tall pile now.
She took a step forward and walked to those gifts. She picked them up one by one, while muttering, This is a gold lock bracelet, this is a toy car, this is a limited edition Ultraman suit, this is a small scarf and clothes I knitted myself, this is the latest game console a decade back, this is a complete fairy tale collection, and this
While listing all the ungifted presents, Xu Enzhens eyes began to feel sore again. The sad memories came back like a deluge, making her remember those lonely days where she picked a gift for her dead child despite everyone trying to softly prevent her. Now that the gifts were slowly getting opened, she should be happy, but still, her tears dripped down slowly.
Some of those gifts were prepared many, many years ago. They were very old, but they were still in great condition. Its clear that Xu Enzhen very often dusted them off and made sure they were still usable.
Xu Enzhen was a little choked up, a messy mixture of sadness and joy, but she still continued talking, Everytime the date is near, Mom always thinks about how old you would be. What would you like? But Mom doesnt know that, so I could only guess
Halfway through her words, someone knelt down in front of her and held her hand.
Xu Enzhen raised her head and met Jian Xingsuis clear eyes. Her own reflection was reflected in his eyes a frail woman with reddened, puffy eyes.
Her son said in a comforting tone, I like them, I like them all very much.
Jian Xingsui reached out for one of the oldest gifts. He carefully traced the old, unopened box with a sad smile. His voice was almost inaudible, broken by a sob he swallowed down, Thank you, Mom.
Xu Enzhens heart was filled with joy and happiness in an instant, and she let out a muffled squeal of joy. She hugged Jian Xingsui tightly, both were now kneeling on the ground, surrounded by a huge pile of gift boxes.
Over the years, she has never let herself go, living in the shadows and standing still. No one could empathize with the grief of a mother who lost her child. In her eyes, everyone around her was slowly able to restart their own lives. Everyone was moving forward, except her. She was left behind, alone, with a hole in her heart that died out when her baby died.
Everyone said that she had a mental problem, that she should restrain her grief and try to move on. The dead couldnt be brought back to the land of the living. She should look forward, if only for the sake of her two living sons. She didnt need to be taught this kind of truth, didnt she understand it herself?
Its not that she was not aware of how unhealthy her obsession was. Its just that shes afraid if she moved on, it meant she abandoned her youngest son. She felt that by remembering him, it meant that she truly loves him.
For her, sustaining herself by sheer delusion was enough. She could live on the dream she built herself.
Suisui Xu Enzhens voice was a little hoarse, but it seemed that she finally said what couldnt say all these years, Mom is at fault can you forgive me?
In her eyes, if she was just more insistent on seeing her baby, if she was just more stubborn in digging up the truth, if she just followed her guts and asked for a paternity test with that dead baby maybe
Her spiralling mind was cut short by a gentle voice bringing her back, reminding her of the reality.
Its okay, Mom. Its all over. Its all over
Xu Enzhen seemed to have finally let go of the big rock blocking her heart.
Shen Xingchen suddenly came behind both of them. He barreled without manners, bringing a sunshine inside with him, Mom, its okay to cry, but lets stop for now, mkay? Itll hurt your body. Besides, we will have dinner downstairs in a while.
Ohhh hey, hey, why do you only introduce the things you bought yourself? I bought gifts for my didi too!
This young master was an expert at destroying the atmosphere. Jian Xingsui was glad for this attribute of his.
Jian Xingsui looked at him in surprise, and asked in confusion, What?
Shen Xingchen walked to the cabinet next to him, opened it, and said, Dang dang dang! I bought these gifts for you! I have had pocket money since I was five years old, so as an exemplary gege1if you dont know my own internal rule on using older brother vs ge/gege its this: if its used in a dialogue for addressing someone, I use the Chinese term. For anything else, I use the translated version., I have to use a portion of it for spoiling my didi!
Shen Xingchen was the only one in the family who didnt know the birthday of his dead younger brother, but he would also leave a birthday present for his younger brother every year on his own birthday.
Look at this, Kingkong toy!
Ohhh I remember this, this is a small toy airplane I made myself, arent I amazing?
And this, a clay sculpture of Doraemon.
In addition to these, there are many precious things in this cabinet. It was given from Shen Yong and Shen Minglang. The doctor said that Xu Enzhen had a mental problem, and its best to help her move one. No one in the family chose the hard approach, and instead, they supported her endeavor in remembering her child, and helped commemorate every birthday with her. They hoped that if she knew that her family supported them, it would lessen her guilt, and make her able to move on easier.
Shen Minglang also came inside the room. He stood in front of the cabinet and said in a low voice, I also gifted you from your first birthday to your twentieth. Here are all of them. The most precious of which is this painting this is a collection I bought in country M2probably referring to America, and its one of a kind. It is considered priceless now, and it is said to be a good-luck charm. It can keep people self, and protect them from danger, or so the rumors go.
As expected of the big brother who always talked about money and interests, he still didnt forget to introduce the value of the gift even during this moment.
On the surface, Shen Minglang was stating that every gift was valuable. But in fact, he was trying to get extra favors from Jian Xingsui, by hinting that his gift is the best and the most thoughtful. He wanted to be the next person in the family to be called with a familial appellation. At least, he wanted to win against his father.
Its a pity that Jian Xingsui didnt understand this hidden meaning. His mind was still muddled from all his emotional roller-coaster, so he could only say, Thank you, thank you
Shen Minglang still hadnt given up, though, no need to give me thanks. Its my duty as an older brother.
Jian Xingsui was a little nervous in facing Shen Minglang. Just as he was about to change his words, Shen Yong stepped forward and pulled up his wife and children who were squatting on the ground. This was the first time he met Jian Xingsui today, but as the patriarch of the family and the head of a whole conglomerate, he was very used to keeping his composure in face of everything. Standing in front of Jian Xingsui, he lowered his head and said, You dont need to be so polite, this will be your home from now on.
Jian Xingsuis hand subconsciously curled up.
He lowered his head, but Shen Yongs palm covered his head, his deep voice was a bit solemn, and it contained the imperceptible tenderness of a father towards his child, Im not showing you these gifts to make you sad. I just want to tell you that you have always been a part of this family, and we are all looking forward to welcoming you home.
Jian Xingsuis body shook. He had been worrying about these things, but unexpectedly his insecurities were seen through in a glance. The feeling of being understood and cared for tenderly made him a little at a loss, and his eyes turned red instantly.
Shen Yong wanted to say something, but there was a knock on the door outside.
Auntie Wu said as she knocked on the door, Sir, Madam, Young Masters, the food is ready.
Shen Xingchen cheered, Thats great, Ive starved to death a long time ago .
Shen Minglang instantly snarked at him, You just ate not long ago. What kind of celebrity are you? A pig?
Jian Xingsui was standing between them, and he was a bit terrified at what to do.
Xu Enzhen pursed her lips and smiled. She came over and stretched out her hand to interrupt the quarrel between the two of them, Okay, okay, dont press Suisui. You two are overweight, youll crush him.
Shen Xingchen yelled indignantly, Mooooom! Why are you like this? Do you also despise me for being fat!
The family walked downstairs while bickering. Although it was a bit noisy, it was a pleasant buzz against his ear. It felt like this was what a family should sound like. Jian Xingsuis mind was blank, as was used to being alone. The moment he was surrounded by excitement, it felt unreal so he just became silent.
Someone patted him on the back.
Jian Xingsui turned around, Xu Enzhen held his hand and said, What are you thinking, Suisui? As for dinner, I made chicken soup before I left. There should be egg noodles today. Mom will serve you a bowl later, okay?
Jian Xingsui squeezed her hand back, trying to ground himself in this unreal reality.
He threw away his insecurity, even if just for a moment, nodded at his mother, and responded, Okay!