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Chapter 28:The Boundary (6)



Even on rainy days, night came without fail.

The forest, already darkened by the rain clouds, was now drenched in a pitch-black hue.

It was a sight I had grown so tired of seeing.

I hated the forest at night.

I didn’t always wish for the sun to shine brightly, but still, I didn’t want to spend nights in this forest.

It was better when we were in the cabin. At least then, we could share anything together.

But when Razen fell asleep and I was left alone, I felt overwhelmingly lonely.

It felt like being thrown into a world all by myself.

Razen seemed to think I was simply afraid of the dark.

‘Fool. I’m not a child.’

Anyway, tonight it was my turn to stand guard first.

I had fallen asleep during the day, so I was quite alert now.

‘Not that that’s the only reason.’

There was something, just a little something, that was bothering me, making it hard to fall asleep.

For instance, our discarded clothes.

We couldn’t keep wearing our soaked clothes, so we hung them neatly on the wall.

We didn’t have any spare clothes.

Naturally, both of us were left in our underwear.

If I were to remove the blanket wrapped around me, Razen would see me in my barest state.

That was... Just imagining it was incredibly embarrassing.

This was the first time I had revealed so much of my skin. Even now, I was anxious about the possibility of being seen.

Even though it might be okay if Razen saw me, for some reason, I didn’t want to show myself to him so easily.

Moreover, this blanket itself caused problems.

It was an unwritten rule that the person sleeping used the blanket.

But now, I was using the blanket, and Razen was half-naked.

The flickering campfire made Razen’s body very visible.

It was hard to believe we were the same age.

He was always the boy standing in front of me.

‘So many scars.’

I had seen some when I bandaged him, but I hadn’t realized it was this bad.

The fresh red scars were new. The slightly faded ones were still healing from a short while ago.

The ones lighter than his skin tone were all scars.

Scars that would never fade.

No matter where I looked on his body, I saw scars and wounds.

There were so many that it hurt just to see them.

‘I’m sorry. You must have taken all those wounds for me.’

I barely resisted the urge to touch the scars gently.

Instead, I slowly called out his name.

“Razen, are you asleep?”

“Not yet. I’m about to fall asleep. Why?”

“You look uncomfortable sleeping like that. Come here.”

His drowsy voice responded.

I patted the ground beside me, and Razen sluggishly crawled over.

He seemed too tired to even stand up. I should let him sleep soon.

I quietly slipped my leg out from under the blanket.

My white leg was fully exposed.

Was it a mistake? No, this should be fine. After all, his eyes are closed right now.

I gently lifted Razen’s head and placed it on my thigh.

Razen slowly opened his eyes and met my gaze.

His blue eyes were clouded with sleep.

He looked surprised, making the corners of my mouth lift.

Razen’s body temperature was always slightly higher than mine.

So he felt warm, sometimes even hot.

“What’s this all of a sudden?”

“Why? Isn’t this more comfortable? Go to sleep. Should I sing you a lullaby tonight?”

“A lullaby? No thanks.”

I was seriously considering singing if he had asked.

He always pushes back at the weirdest times.

Even though we’re the same age, he acts like he’s the only adult.

“Your legs will hurt.”

“It’s fine. I want to do this.”

“Wake me up if it gets too hard.”

“Okay.”

Despite his grumbling, Razen didn’t move off my lap.

I was relieved he didn’t dislike it. If he did, I might have felt a little hurt. I had gathered a lot of courage to do this.

I held my breath and stayed quiet until Razen fell sound asleep.

Indeed, I dislike the night, but it’s not unbearable.

The darkness is frightening. I hated it even in the castle. Whenever the lights went out, I would inevitably have nightmares.

When the wind blew, it felt like ghosts were wandering nearby, and when I heard footsteps, it felt like they were coming straight for me.

To be honest, I still can’t look at the corner of that cave.

I know there’s nothing there, but it’s too dark and unsettling.

But you need the night, don’t you? During the day, you seem so tense, so stiff.

At night, I can see you sleep so peacefully, and I like that.

Seeing you makes even the scary night bearable.

‘Thank you for everything.’

How should I repay you for all you’ve done?

Thinking about it overwhelms me. It makes my chest feel tight.

You know, I’m no longer the precious lady of the castle.

All I can do is offer my lap like this from time to time.

You keep protecting me, but I have nothing to give you in return. I hate myself for that.

When I strip away everything I was born with, I’m just a small, insignificant girl.

‘I should have learned magic in the castle. Or joined any order. Wouldn’t that have been useful to you now?’

Thinking back, learning theology was a good choice.

If I had, Razen wouldn’t have so many scars on his body.

I could have healed his injuries. Maybe the God of Light would have been the best for that.

‘Although, it seems wrong to use a deity so casually.’

In my memories, my father always said that we must repay the loyalty of our retainers.

I believed that was true.

Their loyalty is never something to be taken for granted. It is a devotion that demands a fair price.

I learned that knights risk their lives for us because they believe we will reward them in kind.

I took my father’s words to heart.

And Razen was my only knight.

Although he wasn’t officially knighted, such formalities didn’t matter in the slightest.

Razen had already protected me countless times. If he wasn’t a knight, then no one could be.

But I had nothing to give him in return.

In a place like this, my name was utterly useless, and there was no guarantee things would change even if we left the forest.

So I couldn’t make any promises lightly.

‘I might not be able to keep them. I never want to lie to you.’

When thinking rationally, there was no certainty that everything would go well even if we reached the County of Eloran.

It seemed like the best possibility, but nothing was assured.

That old man, in the end, was still a stranger.

If I failed to meet his expectations, he would undoubtedly discard me without hesitation.

Uncle. No, Count Roxen had shown that humans are creatures who can betray others at any time.

The demons constantly wage war, and humans break their trust.

So, I decided not to trust anyone anymore.

I had always been quick to learn. Having been hurt once, I wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

Razen was the only exception.

I will trust no one but you.

Without thinking, my hand reached out to Razen’s hair.

As I gently stroked it, his expression seemed to become more relaxed.

He seemed to like it, so I continued.

Gently, so as not to wake him. Very softly.

‘Your hair has grown quite long. You look better with it short. It makes me sad.’

If his hair poked his eyes, it would probably be itchy.

While I was at it, I tucked his hair behind his ear to tidy it up.

It had been a while since I last saw his forehead, and it looked much better this way.

Razen would probably never know. He wouldn’t know that he looks quite cute when he’s asleep.

Moreover, my knight had a rather handsome face. Seeing him like this made me smile with satisfaction.

People in the castle used to say Razen looked too fierce, but they didn’t know what they were talking about.

The reason I didn’t refute them was because I wanted them to remain ignorant fools.

Idiots who couldn’t recognize a treasure even when it was right in front of them.

They could live their whole lives without knowing. I’d never tell them.

Razen was the greatest treasure I had.

And I don’t flaunt my treasure. Others would covet it.

‘My knight. The most precious in the world... my one and only knight.’

You are everything to me. You made it that way.

So, if the day ever comes when I can give you something in return,

I will give you everything I have. My life, the life you saved.

‘Oh, you must be having a nice dream. I’ll have to ask what you dreamed about when you wake up.’

I waved my hand lightly in front of Razen’s eyes.

My knight didn’t react at all. He seemed to be in a deep sleep.

What was I thinking?

Before I knew it, I was kissing Razen’s forehead.

Smooch.

The sound was louder than I expected.

‘Ack! I shouldn’t have done that. What was I thinking?’

My face grew hot just from my lips touching his forehead.

My cheeks were burning so much that even touching them didn’t help.

If someone had seen me, my face would probably...

No. No, that would be disastrous.

My head was spinning, and I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t lift my head.

Even though there was no one to see, I couldn’t bear it.

It felt like something was poking me in the back.

Tonight seemed like it would be particularly long.

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